I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
