i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
