My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Less talking, more tequila
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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