Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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