I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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