I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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