Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
