she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
