College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
