yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
