no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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