ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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