Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
