worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
