i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
