Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my poor anus
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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