Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
