no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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