Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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