Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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