North Korea, Best Korea!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
