New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
