Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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