Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
