Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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