We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
