You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
