i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
