i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
