now i know why i became what i already was.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
