bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
