I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
