he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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