I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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