She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
