college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
