I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
