so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
