yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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