Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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