ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
