i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
operation harelip BJ is a go
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
