I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
