Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
