its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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