is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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