i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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