Moan for me like Helen Keller
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
