It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
