PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
